The actual reason for starting this blog


This is my first time writing an article, so I’m quite excited:): This one is about the reason for starting this blog.

I thought about starting a blog since last year. At this time, I started fighting against something which was a big part of myself since my first time attending school: the pressure to perform. I’m a person who has great expectations of oneself, I’m surrounded by people who expect that from me and aren’t afraid of showing this. So, all in all, nearly all people are putting this big pressure on me.

I guess, I never would have started fighting if the following hadn’t happened in September last year: I lost my hair. Not the entire, just a small spot. But I lost it. When I saw it first, I was really afraid. I thought I would lose my entire hair. After finding it, I searched in the internet for some reasons. I found malfunction of the thyroid gland, iron deficiency, nursing errors and stress. I excluded all but the last one. But, what should I do to minimize the stress? I attended school (I still do it) – and I can’t tell my teachers something like “Sorry, but I’m not able to write the test because it’s too stressful for me.”

My mum took me to a GP and a dermatologist. But non of them could help me. While this time, my spot without hair grew – it became ten centimetres big. (I’m so happy I have pretty thick hair, so I was able to wear it in such a way that no one saw it.) But then, finally, we found a doctor who could help me. I mean, she just tapped my hand lots of times and after that, she was able to fix my pressure to perform as the main reason for my hairloss. She told me some sentences I should speak out loud every evening in front of the mirror – and yeah, that was it. But it helped. Oh my god, it saved my life! I started realizing that it wasn’t healthy how I used to live. (I’ll write more specificly in some other articles.) And I fought against the pressure. I’ll probably never be able to stop fighting, but I’ll keep on as long as I’m able to think. It isn’t easy, it won’t ever be. But I’ll do it. The thing that often made it hard to go on was the fact that no one understood me. I mean, I never really talked to someone about it, but I was quite sure that I would feel so if I would. 

And yes, this is the reason for starting this blog: I wanna write (among other things) about my fight in the past and about it now. What I’m thinking, about the hard moments and about the lucky ones. And if there ever will be a person who is reading this, who has the same struggle and my blog is helping – then I would probably be the most happiest person in the world. I’m, of course, happy about every single person who reads my blog, whether with or without it! It’s just the reason for simply starting it.

I just wanted u to know that.

Thanks for reading:)



PS: There is no longer a spot on my head without hair:)

Wednesday, 07/02/2022

Photo:          1.2.1&ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8&auto=format&fit=crop&w=687&q=80 – – Paul Siewert (11/06/2019) – last access: 13/02/2022