Reminders of Him (Colleen Hoover)

“There was before you and there was during you. For some reason, I never thought there would be an after you.” – Kenna Rowan

My overall rating:

all in all: 7/10

story: 7,5/10

charakters: 7/10

writing style: 8/10

What’s Reminders of Him about?

Kenna Rowan spent the last five years in prison for …. manslaughter. 

Hello:)

I often told u while writing about my pressure to perform that I fought, that my own pressure gets smaller and smaller, that I managed it to get out of this, …  But I never really wrote about how I did and do this. And because that’s about how I live my life, I thought it would be a good article for the Lifestyle category. I hope, it’ll help u.

Realizing

At first, u have to realize. And yeah, it maybe sounds weird and logical. But when I say realize, I don’t just mean a single thought like “Okay, maybe I’m a little bit too nervous before tests.” No. It takes a lot of time to really realize.

U have to think about how your pressure to perform affects you, how you suffer from it, how it makes many things difficult for you, especially to be just happy. Do you know these moments when the most of ur class write a test and afterwards they are just pleased to have done it and walk around happy and you are thinking all the time if you have written the right thing? I know that feeling. Unfortunately. But I know it from the past. This situation maybe sounds just like a little thing for u und u are wondering: So what? But this is just sth which is not great (Believe me, I know the difference!) and u can realize it quite easy. There are other things that will be different after your struggle, too. Positive ones, of course! You can go to bed at night cheerful and relaxed, even though there is a difficult test the next day. But that’s not easy to realize before u did the fight, cuz u don’t know how it can be. If u put really really much pressure on u, like I did, u can have sleeping disorders, too. But there can also be different reasons. So, finding the specific things and situations is up to u.

And after u thought about the things that aren’t great because of this damn pressure to perform, it’s time for the next step:

Accepting

Now, after u realized, u have to accept that u have to do something against it and that there is a way to get out of it. Maybe u already did it when u realized, but that doesn’t have to be case. So, if u haven’t done it yet: U found out all the things that are worse cuz of the pressure to perform. Do u want them to stay like this? Or do u want them to change? If yes, u can do this! I did it, too. And when I managed it, u can do this, too. There is a way, believe me:).

Fighting

It’s time to fight! But before starting, u have to know sth: U won’t fight against a part of u. U’ll fight against something that makes it harder to be u!

I tell myself the following sentences (among others, but they have nothing to do with my pressure to perform) every evening in front of the mirrow:

  • I am good. I stop having to do everything perfectly.
  • I am all right and I know that now.
  • I can just be myself and I don’t always have to be perfect.
  • I’m ready to be myself.
  • I’m allowed to be happy.
  • I’m ready to live, love and enjoy the life.

And please don’t just say them. Feel them, too.

Here are some other things I do, too:

  • For normal tests (no exams and class tests), I just learn the day before.
  • I just allow me to look in the folder 10-15 min before the lesson with the test starts. Not in the morning at home (after finishing learning), not in the train, not in breaks between other lessons and not 20 min before the test-lesson.
  • I have forbidden myself to look after writing a test or an Olympiad in the internet for the correct answer.
  • I stopped talking that much about a test after writing it with the other pupils in my class.
  • Before going to bed, I listen to music and dance for one song and then I read something for about 15 min. I don’t do school. And in general:
  • I don’t learn for school in my bed. 
  • I always sleep a minimum of 7 hours.
  • At weekends and in holidays, I don’t stand up for school before 8 am.

But these are things I do. I think, doing them will help u, but probably, there is sth other which woud help u, too. Maybe this list gives u an overview and some ideas. But like always, the specific sitiuations and changes are up to u.

In the artcicle about the reason for starting the blog I told u, that I’m also surrounded by people who put this big pressure on me. And if u are surrounded by them, too, here’s the way I deal with it:

After leaving the room, I imagine throwing a blanket with all the pressure and the negativity from my shoulders to the floor and just leaving it there without taking it with me. This helps me really much.


And yes, these are some of the things I mad(k)e to minmize my pressure. If u have any questions or if u wanna tell me how u feel while fighting, please write me a message. I’m looking forward to it.

I really hope, I helped u.

Yours,

Everose


Friday, 25/02/2022


Photo:

https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1534413298607-48ba59e8a06d?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8&auto=format&fit=crop&w=1170&q=80 – unsplash.com – Sasha Freemind (16/08!2018) – last access: 25/02/2022