Failure - and how I deal with it

Hello:)

This Wednesday, I experienced a big failure – I got rejected from RISE. This is an organization, which lets u meet great people in ur age from all over the world, which shows u lots of wonderful oppurtunities and way more. And the main reason for my applying was, that u also get a scholarship for 4 years of studying in a university. 4 years!! But they didn’t choose me.

At first, I was just … I don’t know, I couldn’t really think anymore. I saw that I got an E-Mail, I already had a not so good feeling, I opend it and looked and looked… Then, I went to the chickens and cried for around half an hour. After this, I went inside and told my mum. She didn’t really know what to say, but she hold me and this helped a lot. My stepfather told me that u can’t get everything in ur life when he saw me crying. Really helpful… After a bit of time, I was finally able to stop crying.

I had some school work to do, but I couldn’t concentrate and in the night, I couldn’t sleep neither. Just around two hours. That’s why, I stayed at home the next day.

U’re probably wondering know, why this was so hard for me. Let me explain:

If u read the article about my dreams, u already know, that dreams keep me alive in the hard times and make me even happier in the good ones. And the dream of studying is a really big one. 

But unfortunately, studying is expensive. A lot. So, I’m not able to do it without a full scholarship. My mum is earning quite good, but my stepfather doesn’t. In addition, he just throws his money around and my mum has to pay nearly everything. That’s why, my mum can’t give so much money to me. And I’m totally okay with that. I’d never, never blame her for anything that has to do with money. 

But of course, I cannot deny that it makes a few thigs harder.

And yes, the RISE scholarship would have make it possible for me to live my dream (if the universities would choose me). I searched a lot for other scholarships, but there are nearly zero. One the one hand, the subject I wanna study seems to be just for rich people (medicine:) ) and on the other hand, the country where I come from seems to be full of them, too.

I used Thursday for searching for some. I know me and, that I would have just thinking about if I can study or not in the lessons. My searching weren’t that successfull. I realized, that there are like … 2 scholarships for me. But they choose just 1 or 2 people from all over the world. So it isn’t that possible… I think, the only chance I have, is to apply at a big university, cuz in the most cases, they offer even full scholasrships, but not the smaller ones. And it’s a big pitty that my favourite doesn’t, neither. But of course, it’s really hard to get into the big universities like Cambridge, Oxford, UCL, King’s College, Imperial College London, … And yes, difficult, but not impossible!

And I’m determined to try!

Additionally, I think about working beyond the school. But this would just be possible if I’d live in the boarding school. Because I need a bit more then 3 hours a day for my way from home to school and back. If I’d live in the boarding school, I’d have 2 hours more time per day and could work in this time. I calculated, that, if I’ll do this, could earn around 11,000 dollars until the ending of school. And this would be a lot!

Of course, my biggest dream for class 11-12 is to go to UWC or EMIS. But if this won’t work, I’d be so so so sad, of course, but I’d had a plan B. 

And yes, this is how I dealt with the failure – I looked for other ways that make it possible to achieve my dreams, too. I took the time and stayed at home to use the entire day for it. Some people would maybe consider this as skipping school just because I feel like it. But as I wrote, I know myself and that this was the better choice.

 

I hope, I helped u a bit how to deal with failure and how to keep on believing in ur dreams. Even though, the failure made it harder. Never give up! I won’t, too:)

 

Yours,

Everose

Saturday, 14/05/2022

 

Photos:

guy from behind: https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1594722144574-f5a4f7a258d9?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8&auto=format&fit=crop&w=687&q=80 – unsplash.com – Nicola Abrescia (14/07/2020) – last access: 14/05/2022

money: https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1561414927-6d86591d0c4f?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8&auto=format&fit=crop&w=1073&q=80 – unsplash.com – Josh Appel (25/06/2019) – last access: 14/05/2022

possible: https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1633158834806-766387547d2c?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8&auto=format&fit=crop&w=1170&q=80 – unsplash.com – Towfiqu barbhuiya (02/10/2021) – last access: 14/052022